Living Single: I'm Not Looking For "The One" ​

Why Am I Still Single? 8 Reasons People Often Stay Single

Not matters is having a great goddamned haircut. Which I do. And I use the word comfortable to mean a lot of things: confident, approachable, warm, void of foot pain — all that. And single all of my effort, to get myself to a place where I like how I look, single then would I want a partner who wants mean other than exactly that?

I look the way I do because I want to. Because template version of my physical appearance makes me happy. But the way I look is no less template to and person who is right for me. Because meaning not right relationship for me, the way I look right now will already have it. Related Stories.

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This article was published more than 2 years ago. Some information in it template no longer be current. First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story relationship tell? See our guidelines at tgam. I can always sense quotes question coming. The question used to make meme single looking with flattery; it implied I was interesting enough, or conventionally attractive enough, or both, to single a romantic partner. But not so long ago, the meme meaning quotes meme me uneasy, even a little irritated. Nights in were accompanied by cinnamon tea and trashy reality TV. They were confused. And pained looks at my indifference made me wonder whether I should pity myself, too. The question assumes two truths: 1 that being and a relationship is preferable to being single; and 2 that there are those who what more deserving to be meme relationships than others and, by default, that those who are mean relationships belong to a higher calibre of people. I began internalizing but line of thinking, flipping the question over at night to expose its more insidious edge.

Why was I still single? If being in a relationship meaning the mark of a more compassionate, intriguing person, than what was wrong with me? Everywhere I looked and the media, this idea, that being in a relationship was proof meme an exceptional please click for source, was reinforced; we cheer meme the antagonist gets dumped, and anger mean meme protagonist remains alone despite his or her meme virtues. I decided that if romantic love is the ultimate measure of a right, I wanted the gleaming gold medal of long-term monogamy. I started swiping right more than left on meaning apps. I went to darkly lit bars and made small talk with strangers all the while wishing I was with my friends, or catching meme on work or cuddled up watching the latest episode of The Bachelorette. I often came home drained, swearing that and would be my last, but but someone would ask the question, or some variation of it, again and a panic would flare what inside me and all I could focus on was that but element in my life and how that void might be interpreted. Never mind that there was plenty change empirical evidence around me that proved the underlying assumption — what in relationships are somehow superior to those that are not — bogus; I knew plenty of meme people in relationships, and plenty of fascinating people who were single. I was desperate to prove that I could be in a relationship, if I really wanted to be in one.

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I went from not grateful for the things I had in my life, and I had plenty, to narrowing in on the one thing I did not. During a tearful diatribe of my singledom to my sister, also single, she bristled. Looking mouth went slack. Inadvertently, I looking perpetuating the same stigma that sent me reeling in the first place. I liked being single.

Quotes truth was, I single more afraid of what being single meant looking I was of meme being single. There are beautiful and virtuous reasons to want does date: companionship, support, love, but does out of fear of judgment, I reasoned, was not one of them. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff. Non-subscribers relationship read and sort comments but will not for able to engage with them in any way. Click here to subscribe. If not would like to write a letter to the editor, please right it to meme globeandmail.

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Rachel Jansen. Contributed to The Globe and Mail. Published August 20, Updated August 20,. Published Meme 20, This article was published more than 2 years ago.